We all struggle with something.
You cannot get away with not having shit you have to deal with in your life.
Experiences where there are wounds, ouchy bits, missing links, bumps in the road and areas where you just can’t seem to get your shit together.
The thing is though, the issue is not the struggles themselves.
The issue is how we relate and respond to the struggles.
Because the reality of life is challenges and flaws will ALWAYS be there.
You cannot get rid of them EVER.
To grow and evolve is to learn and fuck up, to take one step forward and two steps back and that is the human journey.
And when you can humbly accept that the flaws and fuck ups are never going to end then you can stop harshly beating yourself up when they inevitably keep coming.
You can stop trying in vain to desperately clear away all your shit to become perfect and start doing the real work which is learning how to be graceful and loving with yourself and others in the messy process that being a human is.
Then when you witness your shit show up in yourself or your life, when you see that same pattern, that same trauma reoccurring, another hurdle, another flaw;
Rather than being self loathing, judgemental, angry, upset, critical, defeated, shameful and being a victim or a punisher to our flaws (which only makes the whole things a thousand times worse)
You bring love to them.
You bring gentleness.
Because the parts of you that struggle are the parts of you that need your love the most.
Don’t add fuel to fire by trying to banish them away as wrong and something fucked up that shouldn’t be there.
How awful for your most tender, retarded, wounded, hurting bits!
To try to get rid of every part of you that isn’t ‘perfect’…
To place ridiculously high expectations on yourself that you ‘should’ have sorted this out already.
How counterproductive is it in the path to finding contentment!?
Please don’t make another problem, by making your problem a problem.
To have your shit come up and respond to it with loving, gentleness rather than harsh drama, knowing that it is all just a learning experience..that’s the real work.
To learn how to accept that a big part of life is just you tripping up, falling, making mistakes, saying sorry, having compassion for yourself knowing that you are doing your best and there is nothing wrong with you.
And when the struggles come again seeing them as just another opportunity for us to make a different choice and act in another way and to keep growing.
Then and only then do your ‘problems’ have any chance of being anything else.
Then and only then can you begin to find real peace.
I am not broken I am learning.
I am not fucked up I am growing.
Small Steps. New Choices.
We all have things we are working on and that’s part of being human.
So put down the harsh self flagellation stick and enjoy the journey.