It is a fact that the areas of life where we are most developed become the gift we can give to others – the skill might have been naturally installed in us our upbringing, or we worked our ass off to nail it. The fact is though, whatever we work on becomes our expertise and we will then start start teaching and trainings others in that thing, being paid for it, recognised for it, appreciated and validated for it, it becomes our ‘thing’ because we know it.
It’s a beautiful thing to have something to offer the world but there is a danger if we ONLY continue to build and strengthen in the areas we are really good at as we can get stuck there and safe there and stop growing into WHAT WE DON’T KNOW.
For me a few of my areas of mastery are free expression, sexuality, emotional and energetic intelligence, intimacy, courage, and vulnerability. Although I still continually uncover places to deepen and move into there is a level of freedom I feel I have developed compared to many others is high. I absolutely know could easily choose sit in this place of expert for the rest of my life, be paid for it, appreciated for it and keep growing my success in it, but if that was all I chose to do I would be robbing myself because I’m hiding from all the areas where I still have SO MUCH TO LEARN.
I was on the phone to my mum yesterday having a cry about some of the areas of my life I still feel totally retarded in and she said something very true and wise
‘Vanessa the things you are doing would be so scary and seem impossible for so many people – you cant be superwoman – just have your accept your own path and your own areas of growth’
OH YEAH! thanks mama!
No matter how successful and masterful we get in something – it’s so important to regularly and consciously accept that you are retarded somewhere else and go into that just as much.
At the moment I’m finding the most juice, humility, power and lessons are coming in the areas that I have not mastered.
It’s physical strength, coordination, taking care of my body, structure, stability, cleaning up, eating regularly and everything i have in the past considered the boring normal stuff is giving me SO MUCH.
The other is music – I love love love to sing but don’t create half as much as I would like because my ability and skill on instruments and production is extremely basic.
All these areas make me feel vulnerable, retarded and awkward – but there is so much growth and power when I go into them.
My first piano lesson last night I felt myself getting all worked up and nervous when my teacher got me to start playing the chords. He said ‘I’m not going to judge you!’ and I realised it was me judging myself.
So I took a breath, gave myself some love and allowed myself to slow down and be a beginner just like I would with all the women who come and learn from me!
And it’s true – if you want to feel free to fully express yourself, feel yourself, be real and raw and connected to yourself and others – to create and be whatever the fuck you want – I’m your woman. If you want to learn how to do a handstand, play piano and have regular meal times – I’m not.
I feel so moved right now by the uniqueness of all of us and how we all have our talents (developed or natural) and our retardations and places of growth – and how we all need each other. How important it is to keep going into new territory outside our mastery so we remember that.
Learning something new IS awkward and often that is what stops us from going outside our comfortable box.
The thing is you are always going to be uncomfortable when you start to learn and develop something foreign – and it’s so important to continually feel that and take ourselves into places that are not familiar or comfortable – it keeps us humble in ourselves, compassionate to those that we are supporting in our expert role and allows us to keep growing personally.
Don’t get stuck in the trap of playing it safe in what you know – you can and are everything and there so much gifts in being a beginner.