Are You Playing It Safe?

It is a fact that the areas of life where we are most developed become the gift we can give to others – the skill might have been naturally installed in us our upbringing, or we worked our ass off to nail it. The fact is though, whatever we work on becomes our expertise and we will then start start teaching and trainings others in that thing, being paid for it, recognised for it, appreciated and validated for it, it becomes our ‘thing’ because we know it.

It’s a beautiful thing to have something to offer the world but there is a danger if we ONLY continue to build and strengthen in the areas we are really good at as we can get stuck there and safe there and stop growing into WHAT WE DON’T KNOW.

For me a few of my areas of mastery are free expression, sexuality, emotional and energetic intelligence, intimacy, courage, and vulnerability. Although I still continually uncover places to deepen and move into there is a level of freedom I feel I have developed compared to many others is high. I absolutely know could easily choose sit in this place of expert for the rest of my life, be paid for it, appreciated for it and keep growing my success in it, but if that was all I chose to do I would be robbing myself because I’m hiding from all the areas where I still have SO MUCH TO LEARN.

I was on the phone to my mum yesterday having a cry about some of the areas of my life I still feel totally retarded in and she said something very true and wise

‘Vanessa the things you are doing would be so scary and seem impossible for so many people – you cant be superwoman – just have your accept your own path and your own areas of growth’

OH YEAH! thanks mama!

No matter how successful and masterful we get in something – it’s so important to regularly and consciously accept that you are retarded somewhere else and go into that just as much.

At the moment I’m finding the most juice, humility, power and lessons are coming in the areas that I have not mastered.

It’s physical strength, coordination, taking care of my body, structure, stability, cleaning up, eating regularly and everything i have in the past considered the boring normal stuff is giving me SO MUCH.

The other is music – I love love love to sing but don’t create half as much as I would like because my ability and skill on instruments and production is extremely basic.

All these areas make me feel vulnerable, retarded and awkward – but there is so much growth and power when I go into them.

My first piano lesson last night I felt myself getting all worked up and nervous when my teacher got me to start playing the chords. He said ‘I’m not going to judge you!’ and I realised it was me judging myself.

So I took a breath, gave myself some love and allowed myself to slow down and be a beginner just like I would with all the women who come and learn from me!

And it’s true – if you want to feel free to fully express yourself, feel yourself, be real and raw and connected to yourself and others – to create and be whatever the fuck you want – I’m your woman. If you want to learn how to do a handstand, play piano and have regular meal times – I’m not.

I feel so moved right now by the uniqueness of all of us and how we all have our talents (developed or natural) and our retardations and places of growth – and how we all need each other. How important it is to keep going into new territory outside our mastery so we remember that.

Learning something new IS awkward and often that is what stops us from going outside our comfortable box.

The thing is you are always going to be uncomfortable when you start to learn and develop something foreign – and it’s so important to continually feel that and take ourselves into places that are not familiar or comfortable – it keeps us humble in ourselves, compassionate to those that we are supporting in our expert role and allows us to keep growing personally.

Don’t get stuck in the trap of playing it safe in what you know – you can and are everything and there so much gifts in being a beginner.

Emerging From The Underworld

It’s day 4 of my menstrual cycle and I am emerging out of the magical underworld of my unconscious and back into everyday reality. I feel a bit scared actually because I know things are never going to be the same and the external world is already starting to shift to reflect the internal work I’ve been doing the past couple of days.

Our bleeding time is seriously the most magical and potent time if we can shift our awareness to see it as that and really use it. Unfortunately most of us are so uneducated about what is possible when we bleed. Swallowing down painkillers and stuffing tampons up our pussy trying to pretend it isn’t happening.

Our ancestors did not do this. This time was seen as special, sacred, deeply magical and potent and the women isolated themselves and spent time together going within knowing that.

For me, I have begun to use the first 1-2 days of my period for ritual and self guided healing and the past few months have gone next level and I have experienced huge and permanent shifts from the work that I do at this particular time.

The first day of a womans period is when the veil between the conscious and unconscious mind is extremely thin or close to non existent depending on how sensitive you are.

In knowing this, rather than fighting this time we can utilise it to gain really deep insights into whats going on for us as well as effortlessly release things from our psyche which would be MUCH harder to access at any other time of the month.

I highly recommend the book “The Optimised Woman” by Miranda Grey for women (and men who love women) to understand the phases of your menstrual cycle and how to work with them in your real life when you still have shit to do. It doesn’t go so much into magic and ritual making side of things, but it is an essential read for every woman (Read Alejandro Jodorowsky -Psychomagic for the ritual stuff!!)

Seriously we really don’t need to learn dogmatic step by step spells and magic from a guru, workshops, old school witchcraft books or religion, we have it inside of us and that magic is happening right now if we were sensitive and tuned in enough to see.

‘That time of the month’ is the deepest time to really wake up to that symbolic poetic reality that is ALWAYS PRESENT.

I think that’s what I love most about holding deeper intensive retreats. That ritual portal that opens up and all the amazing things that reveal themselves within that. We have that space to fully leave our everyday reality and go deep into ourselves to really see the truth and emerge with so much more clarity and power for the next step. It’s actually almost like we have our period for 7 days..! 😉 Sometimes it is crampy and hurts and painful but if we really listen, allow and go in there (which is what we will support you to do!) it is SO revealing and magical that it can completely transform you.

Balancing You Cock & Pussy Energy

The past week I have been working my ass off going into full on CEO boss bitch mode. It’s been amazing and I’ve been really exercising my cock energy on a whole other level. But because I am going so strong into my outward power, by the evening or in my spare time I have absolutely no interest in getting on the computer and looking at a screen.

Cock energy is about getting shit done, managing people, commitments, finances, schedules saying YES & NO very clearly and generally kicking ass and DOING in the world.

I’ve exercised this part of myself in the past a lot but I have never been able to go fully into it and balance it with my pussy and feminine energy.

Pussy energy is flowing, juicy, surrendered, receptive, relaxed. The part that cries and comes and surrenders and deeply feels, relaxes and receives.

I’ve hit burnout numerous times, suffered adrenal fatigue and had to abandon projects, miss phone calls and cancel events and be generally unreliable and flakely because I had fucked too hard with my cock and not been able to sustain my hard on! Then I’ll spend months in my pussy energy recovering and re-juicing and then I end up in the same place – very rested but with no money and no sustainable way to really support myself and reliant on others to support or provide for me.

Two much of one or the other creates imbalances within our work, life, nervous system and relationships.

At the moment I’m feeling a whole other way of being coming through and these energies are finally balancing within myself and my ability to transition from one to the other is getting easier and easier – it feels fucking amazing.

When I switch off my cock. I am fully switching off, no screens, no work conversations, no more direction or thinking or action. It takes awhile for the hard on to go down but I take a bath, I consciously soften, I massage, I self pleasure, I release emotions, make myself a tea, sit in silence, cuddle with friends, make music and do whatever I need to do however long it takes to FULLY RELAX my nervous system and go deep into feeling pussy vibes.

The ability to switch between the cock and the pussy energy is absolutely the most vital thing a woman can learn to do to really be in her fully power in the world. Making money and your mark on the world, AND being fully orgasmic, radiant and juiced up. Getting shit done and making plans and commitments AND fully rested and relaxed.

If your inner cock energy gets too big and your pussy energy is dry and shutdown. That’s going to really hurt.

If you’re pussy energy gets fully juiced and loved up and you’re cock is small and flacid – you are going to be dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

Having both in equal length, depth and power is WHERE IT’S AT and where you are going to find your juice!

Which one do you need to exercise right now? I find learning how to transition has been the hardest thing to master and takes a very strong commitment and awareness of when you are in COCK and when your are PUSSY and to know it takes a little bit of conscious effort to transition, but wow when you do you can seriously do anything.

I spent my morning on the phone and computer getting shit done. Then I lay out on the grass with home cooked vegies and a cup of tea with my body naked in the sun and lathering my body in oil soaking up the rays. (oh my god byron winter yes!!) Now I’m back in a cafe for another bit of work then I’ll be switching off again to go buy myself some ugg boots (its still cold at night!) and watch the sunset with friends.

If you want to listen to more of what I have to say about balancing your masculine and feminine energies and your cock and pussy energy subscribe to my website and stay connected!

Haters Gonna Hate

Backlash and criticism…It’s always gonna happen.

That’s why so many people never put themselves out in the world publicly. Why they are terrified of it and remain silent lurkers and likers on social media, consumers of other peoples creations and offerings but not daring to bring their own. the only difference between a public figure who influences and someone that doesn’t is the decision to be in the ring, that decision is an edgy scary thing if somewhere in us we are attached to being liked by everyone.

The reality is whatever you do there will always be equal challenge and support in every response.. No matter how beautiful, how high your consciousness is. how pure your intention, people will disagree, get offended, not like you. there are infinite beliefs, attitudes and experiences on this planet, infinite truths, but unfortunately many of us are so attached and identified with our beliefs and opinions that when you put anything out there for people to see – it’s one hundred percent going to move some deeply and trigger the fuck out of others.

For every famous person who has a million fans they have a million haters. If you want to be a force on the planet, influence many people and make big change the reality that not everyones going to like you MUST be faced and accepted.

I have seen so many prolific sharers of content and creations tell me that they never read the comments or critics as it just gets too much. I tend to agree and can feel I need to start doing that again now that i’m committed to being back in the public, not because i’m attached to my opinions but because I just don’t have the time.

I am here to share in whatever way inspires me in the moment – I’m not here to get in an online debate. I’ll happily discuss all this in person if we meet and at my events – but I actually am not interested in chatting here about who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’, or discuss whatever technicality I breached in that paragraph or whatever triggered you in my language. That would actually be a full time job and I don’t get paid for my Facebook posts – so, no! Please if you don’t like it – the block button is really handy and I use it often.

This is my space and my expression channel to share whatever the hell I want on it and I’m not going to let the backlash shrink me back this time. Yes, sometimes what I say will be stereotyping and dramatic and disregard a whole other chunk of reality. But I’m not going to water down a point of view just so every side of the coin is covered and EVERYONE IS SATISFIED.

The reality of it is – EVERYTHING IS TRUE.

People are fucked and they are amazing. I am unstoppable and I am really fragile. The planet is dying and it is transforming rapidly. Mentally ill people are medicated mystics and they are not. ALL THINGS ARE TRUE and I’m aware of that, but any time we put anything into words we are essentially chunking down, boxing and stereotyping the universal soup that reality is all vibration and energy anyway. so – take it easy!

If you vehemently disagree with the one sliver of a reality I put forward in any moment – GREAT – use it to fuel your own creations and magic of the message YOU WANT TO SHARE with the people that would benefit from you! Be grateful rather than angry at me that I triggered you so much and go be the change you want to see.

Seriously, please stop highjacking my shit and go do your own thing and spread your message to YOUR PEOPLE. I really believe there is a better use of our energy than disagreeing and nitpicking with others and that is focusing on creating what we want. I know every time i’ve wanted to do that it is when I’m sitting in my resentful consumer rather than my empowered creator.

And that’s all i have to say about that.

(said in a forest gump voice)

Fuck Normal

When I was 22, on a diagnostic technicality some psychiatrists labelled me officially bi-polar.

The reason being, around that time, I had a full blown psychotic episode that lasted over a month that was not drug induced. According to the DSM (Diagnostic Statistics Manual of Mental disorders) I technically I had to have either schizophrenia or bipolar for this to happen.

So, bipolar it was.

Thankfully I politely told that doctor to shove his label up his ass and after an extremely epic year escaped the mental health system (relatively) unharmed.

That period in my life was full on, it was an opening and a connection to a spiritual, creative, embodied understanding I had never come into contact with, it was a deep processing of some really dark dirty unconscious shit, it was the byproduct of pumping way too much energy through a tiny little body that had no idea how to hold it all.

I honour that experience for everything it gifted me and one of biggest things that got cemented in that time and I am still extremely passionate about is the danger of labelling our emotional nature as an ‘illness’ or something to ‘fix’ rather than just being with it and learning from it.

Yes under some kind of ‘bible of normal’ I was a fucking lunatic and actually still am.

The difference now though is I can generally fully accept and listen to my depth and recognise the cycles of nature within – of light and dark, happy and sad, horrifying and glorious and honour the gifts that I have to go to the depths of feeling all of it. As i grow and mature my ability to be with and manage the fluctuations of myself becomes so much gentler. But I don’t think I will ever be considered ‘normal’ and I actually think the whole concept is a really dangerous one that disconnects us very early on to the depth of who we really are creativity, spiritually, emotionally and psychically.

Spending time in a mental hospital is basically like swimming in a sea of drugged up undeveloped mystics doing rituals gone wrong. Those places are concentrated proof of the damage done by a society that rejects emotional feeling, the unconscious and non rational ways of being.

These ‘mentally ill’ people had no idea how to manage themselves, their minds, their sensitivity and the depth of their life journey nor did they have the support from others to do so.

I have heard that in some cultures if someone has a psychotic break they are pulled out of society and supported fully to go through their process of death and rebirth by a shaman, trained to navigate between the worlds safely – and return to their community as healers. Whether this is true or not, I deeply resonate with this alternative and understanding of ‘mental illness’ being the emergence of the creative mystic within and have often felt how different my experience could have been if I was provided with something like this.

I watched extremely creative and expressive people come back from electric shock therapy like fucking zombies. I watched people with SO MUCH unconscious material coming up from their psyche be sent to bed with handfuls of pills.

Although in many cultures and schools of thought psychotic breaks are often associated with a spiritual emergence and awakening our current mental health model has absolutely no fucking clue.

In the hospital, whenever I would express any kind of intense emotion – sadness, anger etc when sharing my experience with some other random doctor assigned to me that day. Despite being locked up in a hospital with fluorescent lights, fucking awful food, sirens going off signalling different suicide attempts or emergencies ( I think it was pretty safe to say any normal person would have an emotional response to that) The doctors would nervously shuffle in their seats and take more troubling notes about my condition on their notepads.

I was continually told I needed to take lithium. I was told constantly to up my antipsychotic medication despite getting more and more rational and able to manage my experience. I was repeatedly informed on the likelihood of me relapsing was extremely high and I would need to take medication FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE to manage myself. and thank god I had enough inner strength and rationality within my storm to say Fuck Off to All of that and manoeuvre my way out of that world. Including answering their ‘sanity check’ questions correctly, like whether I “believed I had any special powers?”

HINT : don’t say yes.

Unfortunately many people do not have the soul strength, the spiritual/emotional education or the support to have the same success getting out. Many of those people I met there so long ago I imagine are probably still going in and out.

I remember one very eccentric guy telling me he actually enjoyed being admitted –

“at least it is a place where I can express myself freely”

that sums it up right there.

“boys don’t cry” “don’t be so emotional” “chin up and smile” “have another beer and harden the fuck up” “thats just hocus pocus”

the insidious illusion of normal kills the artist, the revolutionary, the deep feeling, the mystical nature of our soul.

A psych ward harbours the victims of a society that does not honour our full range of expression and doesn’t give a fuck about the unique mystery of the deep unconscious in every being

You can argue about brain chemistry all you want. but it’s the chicken and egg if you ask me and all of our experience is the by product of a very disturbed culture and society of ‘normalcy’

I am so fucking grateful I got through that experience. I feel so fucking passionate about the power of FULL YES spaces and very much for this reason.

if we all had been surrounded by a deep reverence for our unconscious from the beginning and this world was a safe space to fully emotionally and creativity express ALL THAT WE ARE. I am hundred percent certain there would be so need for straight jackets and padded walls.

Tonight I honour the depth of our feeling, our emotions and wide range of expression we are all capable of.

Fuck Normal.

The Things We Do That Kill Love

My partner and I recently decided to go on a break and not be in contact for a few months to fully reconnect to ourselves outside the relationship and decide if we want to be together from a place of deep individual empowerment.

It’s only been 2 weeks and I have gone through so much already.

I have not been single for nearly five years.

I was together with my last partner for a year and a half and then only had a very small window of a few weeks between him and meeting my next partner – who I have been with for 3 years!

Right now this space is calling me to hold myself and love myself on a whole other level. To develop my inner man to hold my inner woman.

So many insights on the ways we kill real love….here are a few so far….


– Rely on our partner to fulfil ALL of our sexual/romantic/intimate needs without taking the time to fill ourselves just as regularly. (i.e self pleasure, solo dates and time away, romancing yourself,social connections without them)

– Rely on our partner as the main source of our emotional support, (i.e – shit hits the fan in your life and they are one you always call – rather than widening your support network to include others)

– Having your partner be the only person of that gender who you really allow yourself to connect with and feel supported by, (i.e suddenly all your really solid man friends drop away and your partner is left holding the whole responsibility for that genders presence in your life)

-Making your partner be your main source of physical touch.

what a huge fucking pressure to place on one dynamic and person!

i feel like i’m purging out all my codependent shit right now. some of it really hurts and ALL OF IT it is so friken good for me. i feel like I have got myself on a whole other level.

taking myself on a date tonight to watch a romantic movie.

going to dress up, buy myself popcorn and hold myself when I sob ( i already cried in the trailer)

whether you are single or in a relationship – please do not ever stop romancing, pleasuring and taking the time to love the fuck out of yourself so you can come together from a place of really wanting to rather than needing to.

don’t fall for the hallmark, disney shit.

stay alert and awake in love.

spread your emotional self around, let yourself be held and supported by many. don’t give up your life, your passions, your independence and the spark that brought you together in the first place.

i know the merge feels so good but don’t stay too long there or you’ll both wake up one day going – where the fuck am I?

She Dances For You

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Dance and grind down the divine for you?

Gifting you with her opening,

Blessing you with her pleasure.

Have you ever?

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Setting you free from your mind with the softness of her thighs,

Cuming in service to your consciousness.

In sensual devotion to your depth.

Have you ever?

Have you ever had a woman reveal who you are with her ripple of her flesh?

Every flick of her hair and curve of her hip.

Every inch of her, in service to you.

Have you ever had a woman dance you back home into yourself with her sex?

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Her body flowing like liquid. Skin shining, eyes yearning, hips twirling?

Wordlessly speaking to you of the mysteries of the universe.

Inviting you to face your delicious death through her cunt.

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Because deep down you both know all your theories and philosophies aren’t really you.

And neither of you really want to be standing in the kitchen talking about your day.

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Not because her little girl she needs you.

But because her woman wants to be met by your man.

Because her woman knows that she can give you something that no one else in your life can.

Because her woman wants to open you.

So she does.



Have you met it within yourself? has your man?


Right now I keep reflecting on the absolute fucking power we have as women to sexually open men and how very few women have met that power within themselves or are choosing to offer it because it takes huge courage and vulnerability to do so and a massive dose of owning our feminine power.

I’m talking about conscious use of our beauty, radiance, sex and body to open another.

I’m talking about seduction.

Not as a manipulation tool but as a gift, as an act of devotion and service.

Sexual spiritual seduction, not as a weapon to get something, to manipulate or take.

But as a deeply loving, opening gift.

Unfortunately there is often so much shame, trauma and conditioning around sex being degrading and dangerous that we often don’t really know how to do even seduce ourselves let alone another. it is absolutely essential we learn how to access pleasure, movements, sound and connection for our own connection first, then we can start to bring those gifts into our relating.

From what I know (yes this is definitely from personal experience!) instead of women being fully owning that they are the priestesses of their relationships depth. When shit isn’t going our way in intimacy it goes a little something like this…

Processing, reflecting, discussing, verbalising our frustrations, needs and desires, sharing our improvements for intimacy and our our 1,2,3 demand list for our happiness. Deep furrowed brows. Grumpiness. TALKING.

“What he needs to do to grow, why things aren’t working, what he needs to stop or start doing, what doesn’t feel good etc etc etc. “

blah blah blah fucking blah.

Why do we do this instead of putting on some music and slowly taking our clothes off!?

(which would be way more effective!)

Because it’s risky to put ourselves on the line like that.

It’s safer to stay up in the head. be logical, give ‘feedback’

Because we have SO MANY confusing messages about our sexuality as women that the charge and conditioning of this is friken high. So many messages that every man should be sweeping us off our feet carrying us off into the sunset constantly that our expectations are through the roof.

It’s way more fucking vulnerable and exposing to reveal the deepest parts of our essence.

So instead sit there like passive victim little girls. listening, feeling knowing our men are talking/acting from bullshit. We sit there not feeling met, desired or impressed so we opt for one of the few completely disempowering and unsuccessful responses.

– Complain and whinge

– Offer constructive ‘feedback’

– Shut down and become a frustrated, resentful, passive, agreeable mute. (who eventually loses her shit about the dishes)

– Leave in hope to meet a better man who will do all the work and open you constantly, requiring jack shit of our own spiritual sexual offerings because he will be a tantric perfect casanova and we will be happy and satisfied forever!

It’s much easier to do one or all of the above than to recognise your sexual power as a woman in a relationship and make the deepest vulnerable exposing choice to offer it.

It’s way more courageous and edgy to zip down his pants and give him a blowjob than it is to offer him advice. To turn down the lights, put on some candles, begin touching yourself, moving, moaning, dancing for him to take him deeper.

What if you’re rejected?

What if you’re called a slut?

And WHAT IF your man instantly pops right out of his head and into his body? What if he feels worshipped and blessed by you and sees you as the powerful sexual goddess that you are?

Isn’t that what we are all wanting?

This is about recognising that our body and expression is absolutely one of the most powerful sacred transforming forces we have and not offering that is robbing ourselves, our man and our relationship of it’s true potential.

If you want to be just good friends with your man then ignore all of this and continue what you are doing. If you enjoy hour long discussions about what’s working and not working. Ignore this. If you want something more – this is it.

This is not about selling ourselves, objectifying or using ourselves this is about recognising the deep, potent sacred power of our sex and our bodies and consciously offering it to SERVE those that we love.

Changing The World One Noise Complaint, Police Visit and Weird Look At A Time.

We just got a complaint from the real estate with “reports of strange noises and activity”

Yes we have sex loudly, We dance and make music and are not afraid to express our sounds of pleasure, pain, excitement and pain in our home.

Why do we live in a society where that is considered ‘strange’ and not completely fucking healthy and normal?

I’ve lived in various sex positive communities all over the world where the sounds of your neighbours or housemates pleasure and expression was heard every other day. i would regularly hear moans and screams of delight in my neighbourhood. If it was late and I really needed sleep – earplugs worked wonders, if it was a normal time of the day – I actually really enjoyed it, even found it inspiring!

It was really obvious to me when I came back to live in the ‘real world’ how very rarely I EVER heard anyone having sex, even when I lived in a tiny apartment with couples above and below me.


Seriously…How does that work?

My guess is people just aren’t having it, or when they are doing it very quietly, ‘keeping it down’ putting a pillow over their mouth or holding their breath and keeping it all in.


When we block our sound we block off the way energy moves through our body. Our pleasure, our pain, our sadness, anger, excitement when we dont let out sound we literally shut ourselves down. When we make sound and make it loud we can allow energy to move through our body and free ourselves up to be fully connected and communicate whats happening in our body..

But fuck we seriously still have so much collective shame about making sound and about sex itself and so we keep quiet to ‘respect each other’ and not ‘disturb the neighbors’

I read this article awhile ago which was all these images of real notes left for neighbours complaining about the sex being made in their building.

notes like;

‘shut the fuck up, we know you’re faking it anyway’

‘Please keep it down it sounds like you are being murdered’

etc etc etc…shame shame shame.

It was meant to be a funny article but for me it was fucking sad and a total example of this collective sex repressed culture we are agreeing to live in and continuing to perpetuate by shutting each other down rather than celebrating each other.

This was the image they used at the top of the article -THIS is a picture chosen of a woman who is meant to be hearing her neighbours have sex.loudsex-780x390

Seriously, WHY is she looking disgusted and disturbed hearing sounds of pleasure and enjoyment?

Because this unconscious sexual shame that we still hold that sex is dirty, disturbing and not beautiful and natural is fucking rife in our society that’s why.

This goes beyond just sex, but also about our relationship to full expression and sound in general.

I know even if I’m out in public when I make moans or sounds of pleasure, joy, relaxation, shock people will often look at me a little bit funny, often not even in a rude way, just kind of shocked that someone is breaking this unconscious ‘keep it quiet out in public’ code. This hidden collective agreement that our sounds are ‘weird’ or ‘over the top’ rather than completely natural responses to energy moving in our body is seriously fucked up.

I’m not buying it, this kind of shit make me all the more motivated to spread Dancing Eros far and wide to heal and clear our unconscious shame and suppression about the naturalness of who we can live in a world where we are free to express however the fuck we want.

This isn’t anything about respecting or disrespecting people. I generally don’t have really loud sexy times after 10/11pm to respect the neighbours need for rest. But every other time of the day I am going to do what I want.

Really think about this. Right now I can hear the whipper snipper going so loudly next door….Does that justify me making a complaint for disturbing and strange noises?

No…because whipper snippers don’t activate my own shame about my body and my pleasure.

The thing I always say in Dancing Eros particularly in the Wild Woman week when the women really open up the more outward unapologetic aspects of their sexual expression is we have to be the ones who lead the way on this. if we keep waiting for the world to be comfortable with our expression then we may be waiting a long time. if we want the world to change and be a safe space for us then going along with the status quo and ‘keeping it down’ isn’t going to change shit.

I had a women who did DE have the police called on her because she was being so expressive in her sexual expression with herself in her own home.

If she had acted embarrassed, apologetic shy or made up some story about how her cat had gotten a rare case of rabies and was losing it’s shit She would have been feeding the collective ‘sex is bad’ story we all buy into.

But thank god for Dancing Eros she didn’t .

When the cops knocked on the door to enquire, she simply smiled and told them she was just masturbating and totally fine thanks 🙂

That’s the kind of shit that will change the world – that’s the kind of shit will slowly infiltrate our psyche and transform what we consider ‘normal’ expression. That kind of shit will move our pleasure away from being something dirty and disturbing that we need to complain about and something beautiful, arousing, inspiring and free.

Please people question these programs that we all agree to and let’s set ourselves and each other free by being the change.

One noise complaint, police visit and weird look at a time.

Right so the whipper snipper is still going next door…and I’m off to have a loud orgasm.

Kalis Job Description

Kali in me.

She just doesn’t get this shit.
paying bills
regular meal times
business plans.

She’s just NOT fucking interested.

If she had it her way;
she would spend all her time



Causing havoc,
slicing heads,
slurping blood from skulls
watching this shit burn to the fucking to the ground.

Kali, in me

She wants it all NOW
and she wants it ALL THE TIME
She’s not interested in the pauses, the spaces – in peace.

‘Boring!’ she hisses.
NOT fucking interested.

Kali, in me

She doesn’t get this mundane world.
These boxes we live in,
this 4 x 4 room,
these parking signs and regulations
this little fucking manicured backyard,
Its too fucking small
and painful.

And don’t you DARE tell her to be sensible,
tell her to wait
be patient.

She wants everything NOW – in Technicolor. 3D, pulsating, alive magic.
She wants this life to be like a rollercoaster kaleidoscope of death and rebirth.


But Kali in me,
She’s been stirring some havoc on my life,
Like she was so thrilled to have gotten to play
In a world where so many fear, suppress and reject her.
So pleased that someone said YES to her
When everyone else says no.

Kali in me, has been running the show.

What should really be just a casual shift on the weekends with a few evenings here and there.
Has become a full time position
This bitch has taken up residence.

And to be honest.
My little human self,
Is fucking exhausted.

Depleted and defeated,
by her constant demands
By her mission, a vibration much bigger than one little body can hold.

This human self
she’s tired.
and just wants a cosy bed
a beautiful man to come home to and hold her
a relaxing home
a huge team of support
and a cup of tea


My human self.

She needs this world.

She GETs it.


She wants to make love with the mundane
Be seduced by the systems.
Fucked open to god by the beauty of ‘boring’
the sexy simplicity of structures
The perfection of predictability.

The relaxation of the real world. Oh fuck yes give it to me.

So, Kali

I see you,

I thank you.


You are a fucking game changing power house and I love you, you wild crazy bitch.

I’m always going to make space for you.

I can’t not, and you know that.

You and me have got work to do for those that don’t know you.

But listen up.


This my life, my path, my car and my body.

So get out of the drivers seat and quit swerving me off the road to make shit exciting for you.

I’ll make time for that.

For us to play.


Make the beautiful, bloody mess we do so well.

Power, juice and blood – I’ll feed you.

But let’s make our drama constructive shall we?


This is not goodbye.

Just a little shift in your job description.

Wild Woman Won’t Let You Hide

The wild woman energy is so fucking intense its actually sometimes really scary.
Because once you’ve accessed her you cannot HIDE or LIE to yourself anymore.
If all women actually knew how much power and energy was inside of us. woah.
The victim shit would be gone, abuse of women would be gone.
I’ve seen it so many times now through Dancing Eros that I am convinced on such a deep level of this fact. I KNOW IT. I’ve cried in amazement of what i’ve seen, what is possible, what is inside of every woman, what has been so deeply conditioned out of us as being ”too much’ ‘too masculine’ ‘too much’ ‘crazy’ ‘not ladylike’
I’ve seen ‘normal’ everyday women go from nice little smiley whimpy fragile baby birds who have no idea what they want turn into absolute fucking animals within the hour.

Intense, unapologetic, ferocious.

The mean girl, bitchy school girl thing, the back stabbing jealous competition thing, the tear each other down thing, is only there because the wild woman is suppressed in our culture. Only when women are attached to always being nice, polite, good girls do the catty claws come out. That energy has to go somewhere.
The only reason this inequality between the sexes fight for feminism thing is still even an issue is because women don’t know their fucking ridiculous undeniable wild woman warrior power. like really know it. they might share quotes about the wild woman on facebook, or wear mud on their face at festivals. but that fierceness isn’t tapped in their bodies and their expression, its not anyones fault, its been conditioned out of us for a long time and we are part of that journey.
But fuck If women knew this raw, untapped power – I am CONVINCED violence against women would be fucking out of here. unequal pay or sexual harassment would be fucking out of here, rape would be fucking out of here. they are big calls i know. and yes I’m aware in non western cultures there are more complex issues going on – but in general as a western woman SO many of the issues we are facing can be solved by accessing this energy within ourselves.
It’s NOT some external patriarchy who can shift this, its not the laws that need to change to ‘protect us’, it’s not our boss who needs to up our pay, it’s not our men who needs to step up – IT’S US. It’s YOU. Because when you know her – you wouldn’t take that shit- you COULDN’T. you would know the truth that you are not fucking prey, you are not a victim of your experience. you are not a sulky weak little girl who doesn’t know what she wants.