I have so much respect for the brightest, shiniest, big hearted loving people because I absolutely without a doubt know they have gone to the depths of their darkness too.
This morning I’m feeling vulnerable. I am facing and feeling parts of myself that aren’t exactly pleasant. I’m allowing myself to fully acknowledge the pain I have caused myself and others in various ways. I’m not beating myself up for these ‘mistakes’ but forgiving, holding and loving myself through it and letting it crack me open into a deeper love of my humanness and imperfections and this life journey.
Running away from the dark shit is running away from the fullness of your love and the light that is possible in you too.
I see it happen all the time for the women who come to Dancing Eros. This attachment to the good feels.
“But I thought I was coming to an erotic dance course for pleasure why can’t I stop crying!?’
But then when they just accept, and let it out, they cry and cry and allow themselves to feel their deepest suffering. Suddenly their eyes sparkle, they look 10 years younger and this deep love and depth starts to reveal and be felt in them.
You can’t bypass that shit.
Well you can try – but you will ultimately always feel this disconnect from yourself and others that isn’t really going to satisfy or fulfil you.
Every person I have ever met who inspires me with their real bliss has had the courage to face the full on shit as well.
I remind myself of this, when I am feeling really vulnerable.
I know I am just alive and growing – polishing and deepening my heart into more love.
Because you cannot emanate real radiance if you have not felt the depth of your pain.