LETS TALK ABOUT BIRTH TRAUMA, BABY. 😉
Because essentially pretty much everyone is walking around with some level of it yet many of us have not looked at it.
think about it…
We spend the first 9 months in a watery, squishy, safe, cocoon womb to being squished through a tight tunnel and popped out into the harsh lights of the hospital room with a bunch of randoms, then getting the cord that has connected you to what has been your source of nourishment for the past 9 months severed by scissors in an instant is pretty intense first experience of the world and the norm for most.
Not to mention if your mother was injected into the base of her spine for pain relief, numbing her from the waist down so she wasn’t able to push,
Or the doctors using metal forceps to yank your head out.
Or being put in a humidicrib due to (usually) medical intervention caused complications where you weren’t able to be touched or held for the first days or weeks of your life.
Even simply taken from your mothers arms for the first few minutes to be inspected in the other room is pretty common.
All of this will have a significant impact on your nervous system, your immune system and your psyche.Your first contact with the world is a deep imprint
that stays with you – whether you know it or not it will be running your feelings and actions as an adult.
Feel extremely triggered when you perceive others are pressuring you to make a decision?
it’s likely your birth trauma running.
Find most of your transitions are stressful and rushed, (getting to work, moving to a new house)?
yahhh birth trauma.
when you experience anxiety in new unfamiliar situations.
when you just can’t settle or stop or relax and be with yourself.
when you struggle to trust or open with another.
when you can’t seem to finish all those projects you started or get anything off the ground.
Yep – birth trauma alert.
Our birth experience essentially sets up our foundation for how comfortable, safe, secure, healthy, stable and flourishing we are in life, in our bodies, in our work and relationships..
For me my birth stuff has and continues to be my biggest battle.
For many years I️ didn’t fully understand why I️ was more complex, sensitive and intense than those around me. How I️ could be such an epic creative powerhouse but struggle to feed myself, how I️ could feel and see everyone’s patterns so clearly but struggle to stay grounded in the one home or feel safe in relationships.
But honestly looking at and dealing with my birth experience has made become so much more compassionate towards myself, able to communicate what’s happening and why with those that are close to me and able to slowly change the patterns in my psyche and nervous system to experience more grounding and security.
I️ believe we as a society don’t deal with this issue 1. because its not very sexy. 2. because we unconsciously all have it and trauma is a slippery mother fucker that will do its best to not be found out and 3.because we don’t want to shame our mothers or other mothers for their birth experience choices.
However this is not about blaming anyone or being a victim at all. This is not about shaming anyone or me saying that we have to all start glorifying orgasmic, non medicated, natural, home births and demonising hospitals and intervention.
Whatever experience someone had or has coming into the world is 100 percent part of their soul journey and is perfect.
I️ am personally so grateful for the experience I️ had because it has made me who I️ am the good and the bad. I️ don’t believe I️ would be as sensitive and have the spiritual energetic power and wisdom that I️ do without it and I’ve noticed with many I️ meet who had births more on the traumatic side they have amazing creative, spiritual gifts.
So like anything there is always a light and dark side and a blessing and a curse to all experiences including trauma.
This post is simply about having an awareness of the undeniable fact that the birth experience deeply impacts us and that this is the first imprint in your nervous system that will keep manifesting and repeating itself in your external life until you face it.
So for example maybe you were a forceps baby and so you always get this feeling you are being forced to do something you don’t want to do or having this pressure on you. Or maybe you were in a humidicrib and so you regularly attract experiences where you don’t feel safe or held.
Each pattern is unique but it will show up again and again in different ways that feel familiar which is like your psyche giving you continual opportunities to heal itself.
However if you aren’t aware of what the imprint is and how it shows up for you, you’ll have no idea and just keep doing the same thing and responding in the same ways over and over making the pattern even deeper.
The amazing thing is with all this research into brain plasticity and healing we actually can reshape ourselves and change these patterns.
It takes work, it takes patience and it’s deep intense shit and often there will always still be that subtle behavioural response in times of great stress- but huge change and recovery is possible I️ have experienced it in myself and others.
But the first step is awareness.
That Birth trauma is a THING.
A very deep and profound impactful thing that has shaped you or your child deeply and deserves some of your attention.
Start to look at your own birth or the birth of your child. start to understand and see the imprint and re-occurring patterns.
The first step in changing them is to even being able to recognise when they running.
Explore your birth.
If you don’t know much about it – Ask your mother what it was like.
Was she medicated? Were you held straight away? Were you induced and rushed out before you were ready?
What were the conditions?
Once you know them start to see whether you can then see those same patterns showing up in your life, in your transitions, in your creative work and purpose. In your relationship to the physical world and security.
And with that awareness you have the power to create something new.
To not react immediately when someone asks something of you and gives you a deadline. To go gently and slowly when you are creating or birthing new projects. To mother yourself, to let yourself be held when you’re scared. To communicate and take care of your needs, to have compassion and gentleness with yourself in times of transition or change as all these moments are an opportunity to rebirth yourself and have a different experience.
Birth trauma is real.
And we can heal.
We can reprint ourselves and become healthy, secure, grounded, relaxed, open beings who feel deeply safe and held loved in the world regardless of how it all began.