Fuck Normal

When I was 22, on a diagnostic technicality some psychiatrists labelled me officially bi-polar.

The reason being, around that time, I had a full blown psychotic episode that lasted over a month that was not drug induced. According to the DSM (Diagnostic Statistics Manual of Mental disorders) I technically I had to have either schizophrenia or bipolar for this to happen.

So, bipolar it was.

Thankfully I politely told that doctor to shove his label up his ass and after an extremely epic year escaped the mental health system (relatively) unharmed.

That period in my life was full on, it was an opening and a connection to a spiritual, creative, embodied understanding I had never come into contact with, it was a deep processing of some really dark dirty unconscious shit, it was the byproduct of pumping way too much energy through a tiny little body that had no idea how to hold it all.

I honour that experience for everything it gifted me and one of biggest things that got cemented in that time and I am still extremely passionate about is the danger of labelling our emotional nature as an ‘illness’ or something to ‘fix’ rather than just being with it and learning from it.

Yes under some kind of ‘bible of normal’ I was a fucking lunatic and actually still am.

The difference now though is I can generally fully accept and listen to my depth and recognise the cycles of nature within – of light and dark, happy and sad, horrifying and glorious and honour the gifts that I have to go to the depths of feeling all of it. As i grow and mature my ability to be with and manage the fluctuations of myself becomes so much gentler. But I don’t think I will ever be considered ‘normal’ and I actually think the whole concept is a really dangerous one that disconnects us very early on to the depth of who we really are creativity, spiritually, emotionally and psychically.

Spending time in a mental hospital is basically like swimming in a sea of drugged up undeveloped mystics doing rituals gone wrong. Those places are concentrated proof of the damage done by a society that rejects emotional feeling, the unconscious and non rational ways of being.

These ‘mentally ill’ people had no idea how to manage themselves, their minds, their sensitivity and the depth of their life journey nor did they have the support from others to do so.

I have heard that in some cultures if someone has a psychotic break they are pulled out of society and supported fully to go through their process of death and rebirth by a shaman, trained to navigate between the worlds safely – and return to their community as healers. Whether this is true or not, I deeply resonate with this alternative and understanding of ‘mental illness’ being the emergence of the creative mystic within and have often felt how different my experience could have been if I was provided with something like this.

I watched extremely creative and expressive people come back from electric shock therapy like fucking zombies. I watched people with SO MUCH unconscious material coming up from their psyche be sent to bed with handfuls of pills.

Although in many cultures and schools of thought psychotic breaks are often associated with a spiritual emergence and awakening our current mental health model has absolutely no fucking clue.

In the hospital, whenever I would express any kind of intense emotion – sadness, anger etc when sharing my experience with some other random doctor assigned to me that day. Despite being locked up in a hospital with fluorescent lights, fucking awful food, sirens going off signalling different suicide attempts or emergencies ( I think it was pretty safe to say any normal person would have an emotional response to that) The doctors would nervously shuffle in their seats and take more troubling notes about my condition on their notepads.

I was continually told I needed to take lithium. I was told constantly to up my antipsychotic medication despite getting more and more rational and able to manage my experience. I was repeatedly informed on the likelihood of me relapsing was extremely high and I would need to take medication FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE to manage myself. and thank god I had enough inner strength and rationality within my storm to say Fuck Off to All of that and manoeuvre my way out of that world. Including answering their ‘sanity check’ questions correctly, like whether I “believed I had any special powers?”

HINT : don’t say yes.

Unfortunately many people do not have the soul strength, the spiritual/emotional education or the support to have the same success getting out. Many of those people I met there so long ago I imagine are probably still going in and out.

I remember one very eccentric guy telling me he actually enjoyed being admitted –

“at least it is a place where I can express myself freely”

that sums it up right there.

“boys don’t cry” “don’t be so emotional” “chin up and smile” “have another beer and harden the fuck up” “thats just hocus pocus”

the insidious illusion of normal kills the artist, the revolutionary, the deep feeling, the mystical nature of our soul.

A psych ward harbours the victims of a society that does not honour our full range of expression and doesn’t give a fuck about the unique mystery of the deep unconscious in every being

You can argue about brain chemistry all you want. but it’s the chicken and egg if you ask me and all of our experience is the by product of a very disturbed culture and society of ‘normalcy’

I am so fucking grateful I got through that experience. I feel so fucking passionate about the power of FULL YES spaces and very much for this reason.

if we all had been surrounded by a deep reverence for our unconscious from the beginning and this world was a safe space to fully emotionally and creativity express ALL THAT WE ARE. I am hundred percent certain there would be so need for straight jackets and padded walls.

Tonight I honour the depth of our feeling, our emotions and wide range of expression we are all capable of.

Fuck Normal.

The Things We Do That Kill Love

My partner and I recently decided to go on a break and not be in contact for a few months to fully reconnect to ourselves outside the relationship and decide if we want to be together from a place of deep individual empowerment.

It’s only been 2 weeks and I have gone through so much already.

I have not been single for nearly five years.

I was together with my last partner for a year and a half and then only had a very small window of a few weeks between him and meeting my next partner – who I have been with for 3 years!

Right now this space is calling me to hold myself and love myself on a whole other level. To develop my inner man to hold my inner woman.

So many insights on the ways we kill real love….here are a few so far….


– Rely on our partner to fulfil ALL of our sexual/romantic/intimate needs without taking the time to fill ourselves just as regularly. (i.e self pleasure, solo dates and time away, romancing yourself,social connections without them)

– Rely on our partner as the main source of our emotional support, (i.e – shit hits the fan in your life and they are one you always call – rather than widening your support network to include others)

– Having your partner be the only person of that gender who you really allow yourself to connect with and feel supported by, (i.e suddenly all your really solid man friends drop away and your partner is left holding the whole responsibility for that genders presence in your life)

-Making your partner be your main source of physical touch.

what a huge fucking pressure to place on one dynamic and person!

i feel like i’m purging out all my codependent shit right now. some of it really hurts and ALL OF IT it is so friken good for me. i feel like I have got myself on a whole other level.

taking myself on a date tonight to watch a romantic movie.

going to dress up, buy myself popcorn and hold myself when I sob ( i already cried in the trailer)

whether you are single or in a relationship – please do not ever stop romancing, pleasuring and taking the time to love the fuck out of yourself so you can come together from a place of really wanting to rather than needing to.

don’t fall for the hallmark, disney shit.

stay alert and awake in love.

spread your emotional self around, let yourself be held and supported by many. don’t give up your life, your passions, your independence and the spark that brought you together in the first place.

i know the merge feels so good but don’t stay too long there or you’ll both wake up one day going – where the fuck am I?

She Dances For You

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Dance and grind down the divine for you?

Gifting you with her opening,

Blessing you with her pleasure.

Have you ever?

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Setting you free from your mind with the softness of her thighs,

Cuming in service to your consciousness.

In sensual devotion to your depth.

Have you ever?

Have you ever had a woman reveal who you are with her ripple of her flesh?

Every flick of her hair and curve of her hip.

Every inch of her, in service to you.

Have you ever had a woman dance you back home into yourself with her sex?

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Her body flowing like liquid. Skin shining, eyes yearning, hips twirling?

Wordlessly speaking to you of the mysteries of the universe.

Inviting you to face your delicious death through her cunt.

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Because deep down you both know all your theories and philosophies aren’t really you.

And neither of you really want to be standing in the kitchen talking about your day.

Have you ever had a woman dance for you?

Not because her little girl she needs you.

But because her woman wants to be met by your man.

Because her woman knows that she can give you something that no one else in your life can.

Because her woman wants to open you.

So she does.



Have you met it within yourself? has your man?


Right now I keep reflecting on the absolute fucking power we have as women to sexually open men and how very few women have met that power within themselves or are choosing to offer it because it takes huge courage and vulnerability to do so and a massive dose of owning our feminine power.

I’m talking about conscious use of our beauty, radiance, sex and body to open another.

I’m talking about seduction.

Not as a manipulation tool but as a gift, as an act of devotion and service.

Sexual spiritual seduction, not as a weapon to get something, to manipulate or take.

But as a deeply loving, opening gift.

Unfortunately there is often so much shame, trauma and conditioning around sex being degrading and dangerous that we often don’t really know how to do even seduce ourselves let alone another. it is absolutely essential we learn how to access pleasure, movements, sound and connection for our own connection first, then we can start to bring those gifts into our relating.

From what I know (yes this is definitely from personal experience!) instead of women being fully owning that they are the priestesses of their relationships depth. When shit isn’t going our way in intimacy it goes a little something like this…

Processing, reflecting, discussing, verbalising our frustrations, needs and desires, sharing our improvements for intimacy and our our 1,2,3 demand list for our happiness. Deep furrowed brows. Grumpiness. TALKING.

“What he needs to do to grow, why things aren’t working, what he needs to stop or start doing, what doesn’t feel good etc etc etc. “

blah blah blah fucking blah.

Why do we do this instead of putting on some music and slowly taking our clothes off!?

(which would be way more effective!)

Because it’s risky to put ourselves on the line like that.

It’s safer to stay up in the head. be logical, give ‘feedback’

Because we have SO MANY confusing messages about our sexuality as women that the charge and conditioning of this is friken high. So many messages that every man should be sweeping us off our feet carrying us off into the sunset constantly that our expectations are through the roof.

It’s way more fucking vulnerable and exposing to reveal the deepest parts of our essence.

So instead sit there like passive victim little girls. listening, feeling knowing our men are talking/acting from bullshit. We sit there not feeling met, desired or impressed so we opt for one of the few completely disempowering and unsuccessful responses.

– Complain and whinge

– Offer constructive ‘feedback’

– Shut down and become a frustrated, resentful, passive, agreeable mute. (who eventually loses her shit about the dishes)

– Leave in hope to meet a better man who will do all the work and open you constantly, requiring jack shit of our own spiritual sexual offerings because he will be a tantric perfect casanova and we will be happy and satisfied forever!

It’s much easier to do one or all of the above than to recognise your sexual power as a woman in a relationship and make the deepest vulnerable exposing choice to offer it.

It’s way more courageous and edgy to zip down his pants and give him a blowjob than it is to offer him advice. To turn down the lights, put on some candles, begin touching yourself, moving, moaning, dancing for him to take him deeper.

What if you’re rejected?

What if you’re called a slut?

And WHAT IF your man instantly pops right out of his head and into his body? What if he feels worshipped and blessed by you and sees you as the powerful sexual goddess that you are?

Isn’t that what we are all wanting?

This is about recognising that our body and expression is absolutely one of the most powerful sacred transforming forces we have and not offering that is robbing ourselves, our man and our relationship of it’s true potential.

If you want to be just good friends with your man then ignore all of this and continue what you are doing. If you enjoy hour long discussions about what’s working and not working. Ignore this. If you want something more – this is it.

This is not about selling ourselves, objectifying or using ourselves this is about recognising the deep, potent sacred power of our sex and our bodies and consciously offering it to SERVE those that we love.

Changing The World One Noise Complaint, Police Visit and Weird Look At A Time.

We just got a complaint from the real estate with “reports of strange noises and activity”

Yes we have sex loudly, We dance and make music and are not afraid to express our sounds of pleasure, pain, excitement and pain in our home.

Why do we live in a society where that is considered ‘strange’ and not completely fucking healthy and normal?

I’ve lived in various sex positive communities all over the world where the sounds of your neighbours or housemates pleasure and expression was heard every other day. i would regularly hear moans and screams of delight in my neighbourhood. If it was late and I really needed sleep – earplugs worked wonders, if it was a normal time of the day – I actually really enjoyed it, even found it inspiring!

It was really obvious to me when I came back to live in the ‘real world’ how very rarely I EVER heard anyone having sex, even when I lived in a tiny apartment with couples above and below me.


Seriously…How does that work?

My guess is people just aren’t having it, or when they are doing it very quietly, ‘keeping it down’ putting a pillow over their mouth or holding their breath and keeping it all in.


When we block our sound we block off the way energy moves through our body. Our pleasure, our pain, our sadness, anger, excitement when we dont let out sound we literally shut ourselves down. When we make sound and make it loud we can allow energy to move through our body and free ourselves up to be fully connected and communicate whats happening in our body..

But fuck we seriously still have so much collective shame about making sound and about sex itself and so we keep quiet to ‘respect each other’ and not ‘disturb the neighbors’

I read this article awhile ago which was all these images of real notes left for neighbours complaining about the sex being made in their building.

notes like;

‘shut the fuck up, we know you’re faking it anyway’

‘Please keep it down it sounds like you are being murdered’

etc etc etc…shame shame shame.

It was meant to be a funny article but for me it was fucking sad and a total example of this collective sex repressed culture we are agreeing to live in and continuing to perpetuate by shutting each other down rather than celebrating each other.

This was the image they used at the top of the article -THIS is a picture chosen of a woman who is meant to be hearing her neighbours have sex.loudsex-780x390

Seriously, WHY is she looking disgusted and disturbed hearing sounds of pleasure and enjoyment?

Because this unconscious sexual shame that we still hold that sex is dirty, disturbing and not beautiful and natural is fucking rife in our society that’s why.

This goes beyond just sex, but also about our relationship to full expression and sound in general.

I know even if I’m out in public when I make moans or sounds of pleasure, joy, relaxation, shock people will often look at me a little bit funny, often not even in a rude way, just kind of shocked that someone is breaking this unconscious ‘keep it quiet out in public’ code. This hidden collective agreement that our sounds are ‘weird’ or ‘over the top’ rather than completely natural responses to energy moving in our body is seriously fucked up.

I’m not buying it, this kind of shit make me all the more motivated to spread Dancing Eros far and wide to heal and clear our unconscious shame and suppression about the naturalness of who we can live in a world where we are free to express however the fuck we want.

This isn’t anything about respecting or disrespecting people. I generally don’t have really loud sexy times after 10/11pm to respect the neighbours need for rest. But every other time of the day I am going to do what I want.

Really think about this. Right now I can hear the whipper snipper going so loudly next door….Does that justify me making a complaint for disturbing and strange noises?

No…because whipper snippers don’t activate my own shame about my body and my pleasure.

The thing I always say in Dancing Eros particularly in the Wild Woman week when the women really open up the more outward unapologetic aspects of their sexual expression is we have to be the ones who lead the way on this. if we keep waiting for the world to be comfortable with our expression then we may be waiting a long time. if we want the world to change and be a safe space for us then going along with the status quo and ‘keeping it down’ isn’t going to change shit.

I had a women who did DE have the police called on her because she was being so expressive in her sexual expression with herself in her own home.

If she had acted embarrassed, apologetic shy or made up some story about how her cat had gotten a rare case of rabies and was losing it’s shit She would have been feeding the collective ‘sex is bad’ story we all buy into.

But thank god for Dancing Eros she didn’t .

When the cops knocked on the door to enquire, she simply smiled and told them she was just masturbating and totally fine thanks 🙂

That’s the kind of shit that will change the world – that’s the kind of shit will slowly infiltrate our psyche and transform what we consider ‘normal’ expression. That kind of shit will move our pleasure away from being something dirty and disturbing that we need to complain about and something beautiful, arousing, inspiring and free.

Please people question these programs that we all agree to and let’s set ourselves and each other free by being the change.

One noise complaint, police visit and weird look at a time.

Right so the whipper snipper is still going next door…and I’m off to have a loud orgasm.

Kalis Job Description

Kali in me.

She just doesn’t get this shit.
paying bills
regular meal times
business plans.

She’s just NOT fucking interested.

If she had it her way;
she would spend all her time



Causing havoc,
slicing heads,
slurping blood from skulls
watching this shit burn to the fucking to the ground.

Kali, in me

She wants it all NOW
and she wants it ALL THE TIME
She’s not interested in the pauses, the spaces – in peace.

‘Boring!’ she hisses.
NOT fucking interested.

Kali, in me

She doesn’t get this mundane world.
These boxes we live in,
this 4 x 4 room,
these parking signs and regulations
this little fucking manicured backyard,
Its too fucking small
and painful.

And don’t you DARE tell her to be sensible,
tell her to wait
be patient.

She wants everything NOW – in Technicolor. 3D, pulsating, alive magic.
She wants this life to be like a rollercoaster kaleidoscope of death and rebirth.


But Kali in me,
She’s been stirring some havoc on my life,
Like she was so thrilled to have gotten to play
In a world where so many fear, suppress and reject her.
So pleased that someone said YES to her
When everyone else says no.

Kali in me, has been running the show.

What should really be just a casual shift on the weekends with a few evenings here and there.
Has become a full time position
This bitch has taken up residence.

And to be honest.
My little human self,
Is fucking exhausted.

Depleted and defeated,
by her constant demands
By her mission, a vibration much bigger than one little body can hold.

This human self
she’s tired.
and just wants a cosy bed
a beautiful man to come home to and hold her
a relaxing home
a huge team of support
and a cup of tea


My human self.

She needs this world.

She GETs it.


She wants to make love with the mundane
Be seduced by the systems.
Fucked open to god by the beauty of ‘boring’
the sexy simplicity of structures
The perfection of predictability.

The relaxation of the real world. Oh fuck yes give it to me.

So, Kali

I see you,

I thank you.


You are a fucking game changing power house and I love you, you wild crazy bitch.

I’m always going to make space for you.

I can’t not, and you know that.

You and me have got work to do for those that don’t know you.

But listen up.


This my life, my path, my car and my body.

So get out of the drivers seat and quit swerving me off the road to make shit exciting for you.

I’ll make time for that.

For us to play.


Make the beautiful, bloody mess we do so well.

Power, juice and blood – I’ll feed you.

But let’s make our drama constructive shall we?


This is not goodbye.

Just a little shift in your job description.

Wild Woman Won’t Let You Hide

The wild woman energy is so fucking intense its actually sometimes really scary.
Because once you’ve accessed her you cannot HIDE or LIE to yourself anymore.
If all women actually knew how much power and energy was inside of us. woah.
The victim shit would be gone, abuse of women would be gone.
I’ve seen it so many times now through Dancing Eros that I am convinced on such a deep level of this fact. I KNOW IT. I’ve cried in amazement of what i’ve seen, what is possible, what is inside of every woman, what has been so deeply conditioned out of us as being ”too much’ ‘too masculine’ ‘too much’ ‘crazy’ ‘not ladylike’
I’ve seen ‘normal’ everyday women go from nice little smiley whimpy fragile baby birds who have no idea what they want turn into absolute fucking animals within the hour.

Intense, unapologetic, ferocious.

The mean girl, bitchy school girl thing, the back stabbing jealous competition thing, the tear each other down thing, is only there because the wild woman is suppressed in our culture. Only when women are attached to always being nice, polite, good girls do the catty claws come out. That energy has to go somewhere.
The only reason this inequality between the sexes fight for feminism thing is still even an issue is because women don’t know their fucking ridiculous undeniable wild woman warrior power. like really know it. they might share quotes about the wild woman on facebook, or wear mud on their face at festivals. but that fierceness isn’t tapped in their bodies and their expression, its not anyones fault, its been conditioned out of us for a long time and we are part of that journey.
But fuck If women knew this raw, untapped power – I am CONVINCED violence against women would be fucking out of here. unequal pay or sexual harassment would be fucking out of here, rape would be fucking out of here. they are big calls i know. and yes I’m aware in non western cultures there are more complex issues going on – but in general as a western woman SO many of the issues we are facing can be solved by accessing this energy within ourselves.
It’s NOT some external patriarchy who can shift this, its not the laws that need to change to ‘protect us’, it’s not our boss who needs to up our pay, it’s not our men who needs to step up – IT’S US. It’s YOU. Because when you know her – you wouldn’t take that shit- you COULDN’T. you would know the truth that you are not fucking prey, you are not a victim of your experience. you are not a sulky weak little girl who doesn’t know what she wants.


Why Narcissism Is Good For You

I just had someone call me a narcissist.

And I thought, well if narcissism means I love the shit out of myself and own how bright and shining and amazing I am.

Then yes – yes I am.

And actually, if you ask me, I think most people could do with a big fat dose of healthy narcissism.

Give it to me.

Show me how much you are in love with yourself.

I want it.

More of your EGO.

More of your SHINING

More of your PRIDE.

Give me More of YOU.




Fuck, own the parts of you that think you are better than everyone!?

Why not?

Most of us are in far more danger of hiding; never daring to believe we are special and unique… so why not be completely ridiculous with it.


Fuck your Humility. It’s seriously not doing you any favours.

Fuck that tall poppy shit right off, neither is that.

Shine baby Shine,

Wear bright lipstick to lunch,

that special dress on a Tuesday.

Strut down the street.

Wind down the windows and turn up the music LOUD.

Speak with passion.

Moan when something feels good for fuck sake.

Laugh loudly.

Cry fully.

Disturb the walking dead.

Recognise that your full radiance, while it may disturb and disgust some.

Most of the time you will actual wake others up.

When you are so deeply rooted in your own light.

Your own power

Your own confidence and joy,

When it becomes unshakeable bliss inside of you.

It becomes something that radiates out to others

It blesses them, it opens them.

Your light is a gift.

You can actually measure how centred and rooted you are in your own power by the reactions you receive and how they affect you. I’ve found the minute you need others to be open in order for you to be happy and comfortable. The minute you I ‘trying’ to open others with a kind of desperation or attachment to their response. You’ve lost it.

The light has to be for you first, the flow on affects for others are a by product.

Last Saturday afternoon – me and 3 friends zipped around in a car with the top down. Cheesy, sexy music blasting, wind blowing in our hair, arms in the air, there were much squealing and whooping. I experienced so much joy, freedom, pleasure life force and radiance streaming through us. It was a fucking spiritual experience in that little sports car.

It was amazing however to witness the tiny bits of shame and embarrassment that would pop up too.

When the car slowed down at traffic lights for example and people at the cafes would look over at this gaggle of women, hair, music and pleasure. Of course heads were turn, the world is not used to seeing this level of aliveness and it was a powerful exercise to practice being fully in ourselves and our joy and not allowing the attention (whether it was good or bad) to throw us off our own experience)

Most of the time I kept my attention firmly rooted in my own body. Treating this as not only simple fun, but an exercise in how I hold myself and where I shrink in my own shining depending on whats going on around me.

At one point however,  I looked into the car next to me where we had pulled up.

In a moment I caught sight of girl about my age, who glanced over and immediately covered her disapproving face in her hands looking obviously embarrassed for us. I saw her lips mouth the word ‘Oh my god’


It didn’t hurt me personally, (We had played Beyonce on repeat enough times to not give a fuck) I know that that fact that she was embarrassed by such a display, meant she was embarrassed about this part of herself.

But I did just for a moment feel compassion and sadness for her.

I didn’t shrink though. No way. Because compassion does not mean dimming in sympathy.  The most compassionate thing you can do when you experience the closure and triggers around your own light, is to hold yourself in love and keep on shining.

So yep, In some way, I am a narcissist.

I believe it’s one of my gifts. 

I don’t believe shrinking or dimming ourselves ever serves another.

I believe there are many dead people walking around, but closing ourselves to fit in with the status doesn’t help anyone.

Let’s Lift Each Other Up To All Own Our Fucking Narcissist.

And just watch how much love pours out.

Your Balls In My Purse



I’m sorry for all the times I suffocated you with my ‘love’

All the times I made this relationship less like a paradise and more like a fucking prison.

I’m sorry for allowing my insecurities about your rawness;

Turned a wild man into wet dish cloth;

And your powerful protector into a limp prick.

I’m sorry I had the nerve to ask why you began to fumble and hesitate when you tentatively touched me.


Did I expect anything Else?

When for months I’ve been cringing when you look this way or that.

Whimpering when I feel your desires turn towards anyone or anywhere else but ME and US.

I’m sorry handcuffs were not just a bedroom fetish

But a death sentence woven into the fabric of our commitment.

Did I really expect anything else?

When All this time I’ve been calling you to reign yourself in.

So I didn’t get jealous.

How could I forget?

That we CAN’T selectively suppress that shit.

And if you aren’t allowed to get hard for them.

You certainly won’t be able to get hard for me.

A relationship is not a chastity belt, a security blanket, a cosy place for us both to hide under sucking each others thumbs.

Well it can be, and it has been for many who have gone before.

But no more, let us be free.

And lift each other up to the highest, biggest, brightest bursting versions of ourselves.

Even if that means I never see you again.

I can live with that

Because my love,

the flames of passion do not live;

inside white picket fence

on a manicured lawn

or when your balls

are in my purse.

When Women Love Women..

IMG_9519I used to want to vomit when I heard the word ‘sisterhood’

To me it felt so wanky and naff, almost embarrassing to utter that term.

Sisterhood? Blergh.

My first experience with women’s workshops confirmed my fears and doubts. I felt out of place, insecure and totally out of my depth. These women with their laughter so free, their touch so warm, their emotions so flowing and natural, their sounds of pleasure and pain so shamelessly expressed.

What the fuck? Was this a cult!? Is this what it means to be a woman!?

Okay well, I’m screwed.

I felt like a worthless little alien, too ‘in my masculine’ to ever fit in with these magical feminine creatures.

Open and powerful women intimidated the shit out of me and I found it much more comfortable to really connect and relate with men.

I finished the workshop and internally decided that I obviously just wasn’t very feminine. And left any kind of womens work for quite some time.

That was before the universe intervened in some magical, random ways as it likes to do and after a huge journey I’ve ended up being the leader of a powerful. massive women’s fucking movement!

Oh life.

I now find myself spending hours upon hours with other women, sharing, laughing, dancing, touching, moaning, crying, playing, loving, other women. I am absolutely converted and confirmed of the power and importance of real sisterhood on a level I never thought possible and I cannot imagine a life where I am not surrounded by absolute real, raw, powerful goddesses all the time.

As many of you know I’ve been going through a breakup over the past week. It’s been absolutely massive as all breakups are, and it has had me reflecting on my last breakup.

It was a beautiful time (as all breakups can be!) I learned new levels of self love through tending to my grief. I made open fires every night, drank a glass of red wine in the bath with total presence, read books about love, did letting go rituals, spent time in nature everyday and cried my little heart out every hour or so.

But when I think back to who was around me at that time?

I realized in shock, there weren’t really that many women around me at that time.

Fast forward to now. Where as soon as my relationship ended I reached out to the amazing women of the Dancing Eros community many who are my dearest friends and booked a flight to melbourne. I was picked up at the airport by one of these special women – hot water bottle in her arms that she placed on my lap and drove me to my other friends home. I was welcomed in with cooked dinner of fish curry, a beautiful bed made and tea and chocolate awaiting me.  I spent the next days surrounded by special women who gave me space for myself, and deep holding when it was needed. There were many hugs, many tears and many laughs. Other women with the community inundated me with offers for massage, places to stay, facials, cars to borrow, love and shoulders and ears offered. I was almost overwhelmed with how much love and support was available from this amazing group of women.

I am so moved by the real, raw, loving, powerful, unique, connected ladies that I am now surrounded with and what a huge difference that makes to my overall life and wellbeing. I am continually blown away by the connections I see forming through the women doing the Eros courses and the continual support and love on and offline between all the women who do this work.

We are all there to celebrate each others wins, to hold each other when shit hits the fan, and to call each other on where we are holding back and hiding. There is SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT.

In my last breakup I genuinely believed I had everything I needed to take care of myself. I was a strong woman and I could handle that shit, and I did. But looking back now and comparing that to my experience of this breakup – I see how much I was missing out on by not having really deep, real connections with women, by not having a sisterhood to hold me and see me and celebrate me and love me through it all.

There is no way I could have received this level of love and support even a year ago. No fucking way.

And you know why?

Because our relationships with other women are a direct reflection of our relationship to our own inner feminine energy.


By feminine energy I mean things such as pleasure, play, emotions, sharing, beauty, nurturance, support. If we aren’t cool with these aspects within ourself then we can be sure as hell our friendships and connections with women are going to be hard work too.

But that’s part of the journey, and funnily enough the act of connecting with other women will open you to these things.

I firmly believe that being part of a powerful sisterhood is not a luxury, it is an absolute necessity.  It’s on the top of the list of importance as food and sleep.

Seriously, It sustains me, fills me up, gives me such deep gifts that nothing else can.

I know now, that part of why I created Dancing Eros was to unconsciously heal my own relationship to my feminine, and in turn to other women. And have I done it?

Well the answer to that is yes and no.

What I’ve realised is unlike many things where there is a final result or goal to be achieved, a box to tick or a certificate to receive that says – YOU WIN. The journey of opening to our emotions, our pleasure, our bodies and our expression there is a continual unfolding and the growing that never fucking ends or is complete.

But when I reflect on all the amazing that the women I surround me and the depth of connections that I have and acknowledge that this reflects the relationship I have with my own feminine – When I realised that the past few days and been spent having facials, putting on lipstick, driving around with the music blaring, eating icecream, dancing to old school RnB AS WELL as holding each other, clearing our shit, crying. sharing and processing our emotions. I really have to think…

You know what? I fucking win!

It took a lot to get here – but wow…so worth it.

You can have that too, You deserve to have that!

I want for every woman on this planet to know the deep bliss and fulfillment that comes through having a real, raw, powerful, loving sisterhood.

I want you to know the power that comes through holding, seeing, loving, celebrating, supporting other women. The deep love that comes from being seen, loved, celebrated and supported by other women.


If this is far from your reality right now. I get it, I’ve been there. It DOES NOT have to stay that way. Please Get in touch!


Check out Dancing Eros – join a retreat or workshop with me or one of the other amazings teachers, start working your way to becoming a teacher of this work and creating your own sisterhood of amazing women. I can support you and it is possible!




How Radiant, Sexy Women Will Change The World & Start a Revolution!

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So I have a confession to make.

As much I am a leader in self expression particularly sexual expression, an advocate and permission granter to all you to put of yourself out there and to not hold back…

There’s something I have been holding back.

About a month ago now I received back some images from a photo shoot I did **

When I received them I gasped. Some of them were SO fucking sexy and I could immediately feel how resistant I was to sharing them with anyone. Never one to ignore a twinge of resistance I’ve been pondering this reaction and what underlies it ever since. ive been chatting with different women, picking and clearing through the pieces of my psyche and getting a hold of what lay beneath this fear.  I knew this was not the first time I withheld sharing something I really loved of myself – actually, I have lots of videos I film particularly of me dancing and singing and many pictures that have been taken of me that remain hidden away in my computer.

Now for many that might seem normal – as it goes most ‘normal’ people choose to keep the intimate parts of themselves private and share very little of their deeper selves with the public. But for me – I am a massive advocate of Sharing ALL OF YOU. I believe sharing fully, intimately, honestly about ourselves with others is one way we will really heal this world – because within that sharing we dissolve the separation, we stop being a perfect ‘public figure’ to pedestal and start being a human fucking being. I believe the world is realness deficient and experiencing an authenticity famine and we are CRAVING IT so bad. Craving the nourishment and sigh of relief that comes from recognizing through the confessions of another that we aren’t alone.

However what I’ve realized about my theory and how I put it into practice is I am much more comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities and struggles than I am in fully shining and sharing my light – particularly my creative and sexual expression.

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Ironic right? Although I am here speaking and claiming and teaching full expression and sexual empowerment. I’m actually shit scared to really put that part of myself out there. Ha ha ha…

And you know why I’m scared? Well I’ve been asking myself the same question for the past little while and preparing for this blog and unveiling – because that’s what I do – I share for my own empowerment and for yours.

So here goes…

So what AM I scared of?

Why am I scared to share sexual, beautiful, amazing pictures of me?


Well, I am scared of being judged for being too beautiful. Too sexual. For flaunting it or being told I’m showing off or only doing it to get attention from men (Yep, had that said to me). I’m scared of women saying to me ‘of course you can teach sexual empowerment you’re young, thin and beautiful what the fuck do you know!? (yep that too) I have found myself on this mission of empowering women and inspiring them to access their full radiance – but you know what I’ve doing in the process? I’ve been dimming my own, I’ve dimming it so other women don’t feel bad. I’ve been scared if I share my self opening and dancing, or that photo of me looking fucking super hot, that women will say (or think) what the fuck do you know about struggle – look at you! I’m scared that putting out photos like this will intimidate other women and make them compare themselves with me and not feel good enough. I’m scared of being perceived as using my beauty and my body to sell who I am and what I do.


So – I’ve been holding it back.

I’ve been shining, but not TOO bright.

Sound Familiar?

I know I am absolutely not alone in this. Through teaching dancing eros for 2 years now, I’ve led A LOT of women into accessing their sexuality and femininity in ways that they have never dared to express (or have but shut it down long ago) and there is a particularly phenomena I observed through doing this work that really highlights this whole issue.

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 4.56.22 pmLet’s call this phenomena ‘hot woman syndrome.’

The women who suffer from this are those who by society’s standards are smoking hot (P.S by teaching this work I can also assure you that true radiance actually doesn’t have anything to do with physical appearances) but it can’t be denied for these women good genetics just lined up for them. They’ve got naturally amazing bodies, shiny hair, beautiful skin, symmetrical faces, they look like top models yeah?

And do you know what I have found in every single ridiculously hot woman that has done eros?

DEEP fucking insecurity.

*GASP!* ‘Now why would that be!? Doesn’t physical beauty and a hot body makes us immune to struggle, Isn’t that what the magazines and television tell us right? Why have we been working so hard to look good!?’

Actually no – and according this theory I’ve observed it often leaves women more open to it!

And do you want to know where the bulk of that insecurity comes from?

Well, you might initially have thought its because they are so gorgeous they have been constantly desired/objectified/preyed on by men for being so attractive so they have shut down out of fear for their safety and yeah that does happen, but I actually find that is a wound that resides in nearly all women regardless of looks or genetics.

But the wound that I’ve found is particular to the ‘hot woman’ is the deep damage that has come from the judgment, cattiness and jealousy that they endured from other women about their beauty.

They have been called sluts, show offs, up themselves and talked about and bitched about by other girls their age and in turn its crippled their trust of the feminine in others and within themselves.

And although my story is different – I grew up with a face full of pimples  and a mouth full of metal and am probably the epitome of ‘ugly duckling turned swan’  (still got called a slut though)

I believe this syndrome of the “hot woman whose too much” lives in every womans psyche on some unconscious level.

On a deep level we are scared to be too radiant, shine to bright or be too beautiful because we are scared of being torn down and judged.

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 4.55.24 pm This is tall poppy syndrome at its finest and it needs to fucking end now!

It reminds me of that Marianne Williamson quote;

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? (and sexy – you left that one out Marianne!) ) Actually, who are you not to be? And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The world needs more radiant women! We are robbing ourselves, our men, our children – when we hold back, keep ourselves closed, choose to shut down or stay in control when we ignore our intuition, when we put others needs first, when we make our own pleasure and connection to ourselves our lowest priority, we are robbing everyone of one of the deepest gifts we can give as women – our feminine radiance.

I want you to take a moment now to imagine that EVERY woman you know was fully filled up and expressing herself in the most loving, juiced up way. Imagine you walked into your local café and every woman there was fully open, her skin glowing, her eyes shining, her body fully soft, her heart totally open, her laughter easy. Imagine what that would feel like in your body? What would that do to you as a woman, how would that inspire you to open and care for yourself? Men how would that inspire you to open and fill you up, inspire you to step up?

Instead most women are walking around with their faces hardened, their bodies tense, their jaws clenched and their eyes Vacant, their hearts are closed and protected their juice dried up – most women when you look around not living even a fraction of the sensuality, beauty and radiance that they have available to them.

There is currently a deep disconnect, disrespect, disregard and devaluing of the worth of a womans beauty within our culture and it says a lot about the state of the world.


Feminine Sexuality & Radiance is the most powerful force on this PLANET. Why do you think there are billion dollar industry’s built from that energy? Why do you think women’s bodies and sex is being used to SELL FUCKING EVERYTHING? Because it is POWERFUL. Because it has the power to INFLUENCE. I would say like no other FORCE on this planet. And right now a majority of this planet is either using this force to perpetuate bullshit, or not using it AT ALL.

Women ARE the expression of the feminine energy on this planet – how we relate with women is how we relate to the earth (why do you think we call it mother earth?) By not honoring , nourishing, respecting and expressing that we are doing a deep disservice to humanity in ways that we don’t even realize.

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It may sound a bit hippy and out there but this deep wisdom and power that women hold is known and recognised in many cultures and religions of ancient times. Cultures that worship women as the goddess and a reflection of the earth and the cosmos. When women open up and radiate their light they are fucking POWERFUL initiators. They become so deeply attuned to their feelings and emotions that they impact all those that come into contact with them. Sexually radiant, open, loving women are teachers, guides and healers. When women start to really open up their bodies, they feel everything, their wisdom is HUGE – every woman i have witnessed opening more deeply have this recognition that they are fully connected to EVERYTHING. I always imagine if someone like Tony Abbot or *insert your shitty political leader here* wife started doing dancing eros (or some kind of powerful, sexual, opening feminine practice) And she started to REALLY feeling herself that deeply. Do you think if Tony came home and said they were going to *insert horrific political legislation fucking up the planet here* she would be sitting down and politely accepting that and supporting him? Um no!  It couldn’t happen, it would hurt her too much because open women FEEL IT ALL. They feel when shit is off, they feel when its out of integrity, they feel when its causing pain – THEY FEEL. A woman really connected could not sit by and watch that shit.

Now I can bet that Tony doesn’t give a fuck about your petition signatures people – seriously, he doesn’t.  but I can bet you if the woman that he loved walked away from him because of his lack of integrity then he would start to feel the burn of his actions.?

I’m going deep here but this is literally how it works. That’s how powerful a woman’s love is. This is how important our radiance is.  If women all over the world started getting super fucking empowered and it suddenly hurt to much to put up with the bullshit that was going on around them, men would slowly become starved of the sweet sexual essence of women that has so much power over them and they would be forced to change! A woman’s feminine sexual openness is not just about having good orgasms it actually has a power and capacity like no other human energy to steer this planets future.

Our sexual openness and feminine juice not just something that should ever be at the bottom of the to do list. Something that we hope to make time for when we’ve finished our studies or if the boss lets us off work or if we can make the time between running this errand and making dinner or when we get back from that trip or  *insert whatever excuse you continually use to put off doing things that make you open up and feel good here *  Us putting ourselves and our pleasure anything other than number one is creating way more suffering than we can even begin to realize.


So…back to my initial confession.. This fear of being too bright, to open, to intimidating that fear of being judged or torn down. This fear that I know plagues many women who have the capacity right now to be SO MUCH MORE RADIANT AND REVOLUTIONARY than they currently are.

I speak now to this feminine part of you. That perhaps slightly wounded you, a little bit frightened, Shameful or tentative part of you that IS SO READY to come out and share her light with the world. That hot radiant juicy woman that lives inside of you, inside of EVERY woman – that part of you that wants so deeply to fully express and be seen and to share all of her love. I see you.  It’s time to let her out and its time to encourage each other as women to fully shine – and its safe. If women empowered sexually can truly change and influence this world the way I believe they can then we as women need to start here in supporting each other – because there is a lot of talk about what men and the patriarchy have done to women to keep us small – but I have witnessed first hand (and played a part in) the damage that we have done to each other as well. To start letting go of this tall poppy shit, fears of being ‘selfish’ if we put ourselves first or ‘up ourselves’ if we express our beauty. Its time to really be the powerful woman that we are. Its time to fully support other women to fully shine and flourish and express themselves in whatever way they desire – to CELEBRATE the feminine!!  When we can do that we begin to create a safer environment for us to be the total juiciness’ that we are and really make some waves.

So in honor of this beautiful, delicious part of me and of YOU, here I am. I vow to only keep sharing and opening more of myself with you. And trust that even it does make some feel unworthy, I’m willing to pay the price to lead this liberation of radiance that needs to happen now! I’m willing to pay the price and be the permission I want to see in the world by fully showing up and not holding back any part of myself Anymore.  And while I’m making vows – I vow to make my own pleasure number 1 – to make my openness a number 1 priority and my self love as necessary and sleep and water – to leave the depleted tanks and days of exhaustion being an acceptable reality behind and I invite every woman reading this to do the same.

No more excuses. Because if not now – when?  Do it for the men, who are so longing for the inspiration of an open women to call him to step up. For our children, who are being shown the way of what it looks like to love ourselves and give ourselves what we need.  Do it for yourself – because why would you not claim for yourself the full capacity of pleasure possible!?

But beautiful woman if I haven’t already made it abundantly clear to you – this is so much more than you – this planet needs radiant, open, sexually empowered women and it needs them right now.


No more holding back.


(Shout out to James Looker Photography for the images and Lauren Dietze who styled this amazing shoot!)


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