The Things We Do That Kill Love

My partner and I recently decided to go on a break and not be in contact for a few months to fully reconnect to ourselves outside the relationship and decide if we want to be together from a place of deep individual empowerment.

It’s only been 2 weeks and I have gone through so much already.

I have not been single for nearly five years.

I was together with my last partner for a year and a half and then only had a very small window of a few weeks between him and meeting my next partner – who I have been with for 3 years!

Right now this space is calling me to hold myself and love myself on a whole other level. To develop my inner man to hold my inner woman.

So many insights on the ways we kill real love….here are a few so far….


– Rely on our partner to fulfil ALL of our sexual/romantic/intimate needs without taking the time to fill ourselves just as regularly. (i.e self pleasure, solo dates and time away, romancing yourself,social connections without them)

– Rely on our partner as the main source of our emotional support, (i.e – shit hits the fan in your life and they are one you always call – rather than widening your support network to include others)

– Having your partner be the only person of that gender who you really allow yourself to connect with and feel supported by, (i.e suddenly all your really solid man friends drop away and your partner is left holding the whole responsibility for that genders presence in your life)

-Making your partner be your main source of physical touch.

what a huge fucking pressure to place on one dynamic and person!

i feel like i’m purging out all my codependent shit right now. some of it really hurts and ALL OF IT it is so friken good for me. i feel like I have got myself on a whole other level.

taking myself on a date tonight to watch a romantic movie.

going to dress up, buy myself popcorn and hold myself when I sob ( i already cried in the trailer)

whether you are single or in a relationship – please do not ever stop romancing, pleasuring and taking the time to love the fuck out of yourself so you can come together from a place of really wanting to rather than needing to.

don’t fall for the hallmark, disney shit.

stay alert and awake in love.

spread your emotional self around, let yourself be held and supported by many. don’t give up your life, your passions, your independence and the spark that brought you together in the first place.

i know the merge feels so good but don’t stay too long there or you’ll both wake up one day going – where the fuck am I?