There is a really a fine art to decision making – being able to discern when to say yes and jump right in to stuff and and when to stay right where you are, say no and wait.
What I notice is often each of us will have a tendency to be at one side of the spectrum more than the other.
We either are jump right in people and experience high levels of stress and catch up energy – or we are more on the cautious side and don’t really feel like we are living our potential.
Ive definitely got a track record of being very good at jumping in and expanding fast, not waiting to be ‘ready’ or ‘perfect,’ but knowing that when you leap the net will appear – I’ve done a lot of leaping!
It’s definitely brought me many gifts and allowed me to do and be and have and create amazing things, but I’ve experienced the shadows too – burnout, stress and crazy overwhelm to name few.
Having the courage to say yes when we aren’t sure if we are ready is the necessary fire energy required to start something new, get out of the comfort zone, and move beyond the fears and resistance that can come up in any kind of expansion. I’m starting to see that all my burnouts were gifts that showed me my boundaries and I wouldn’t change a thing.
However I’ve found over the last year erring on the side of caution and waiting and stabilising when another part of me wants to just jump has been hugely powerful. It’s been powerful to practice patience, to have the humility to stay small, to have the trust to say no and wait for the next round of opportunities.
I got to practice this recently.
Myself and some other women had been visioning a woman’s co-working space here in Byron Bay. (I thought the uproar about the male only co-working space was kind of ridiculous to be honest – I received no such uproar when I announced a women’s only one?!)
Anyway, a few weeks ago we stumbled across the perfect space that had everything we could have wanted – separate rooms, lots of light, outdoor grassy area, even purple doors for god sakes! It was magical how it showed up and I was so excited about it! So, we went about making it happen.
However a few days before we were going to sign the lease, I started to come down a bit and really look at it – I started to look at where we really are right now as a business – financially, as a team – where we are in our growth. And as much as we’ve been around for awhile and things are going really well – we are still a young company and taking on a massive office lease would be a big jump up for us.
I asked myself – Okay, is this resistance to going up a level professionally or is it a healthy caution?
My answer was in my body and the truth was – I wasn’t really in my body they days leading up to the decision at all!
Sure I was excited, but I was also scattered and all over the place. I felt inspired by the possibility and that we had attracted our vision, yet at the same time stressed in my nervous system with the pressure of how much would be required of us to pull it all off. I felt that old burnout shadow peeping her face around the corner, rubbing her hands in preparation..
Then I realised, this was my moment to find power in the other side – to say no, to send it back, to wait and trust that there will be other offices, other perfect places. This was my opportunity to find the gifts in being sensible, practical, and realistic.
In a way, I think I’ve seen so many people in the shadow side of being realistic (never taking chances, unfulfilled dreams, settling for less, etc), that I’ve rejected some of its gifts.
So, we said no to the perfect office… for now.
And you know what?
It feels great!
We’ve created our own sweet little home office on the deck and today we did our Monday morning meeting in there and it was awesome, easy, and relaxing.
That spectrum is such a valuable one to master.
From being sensible to taking a risk. From ‘fuck yes’ to ‘sorry, not this time.’ From jumping right in to taking a healthy step back.
There is a shadow and a light in all ways of being. All are valid ways of creating, expressing and deciding in the world and really if we want to be completely integrated, we need to know and experience the power in both.
I’m starting to feel I’m getting the hang of it.
How are you going?